I don't know why I love it, but I do

Since I received the phone call yesterday that I have a job, I've been in an otherworldly mindset.  I can't believe this is happening to me.  I can't believe my luck.  I just can't believe it in general.

I had an interaction today with an old acquaintance.  I've known her family for 15 plus years.  I told her my good news and she said "I look at all of your pictures online of your cooking, canning and gardening and I can't believe it..."what makes you do what you do"? 

That question is what leads me to this post.  I have no idea why I put myself out there to a butcher shop of all places to ask for a job.  I truly don't.  I just know I love it, but what is "it"?  Is it knowledge above and beyond what I already know?  Maybe...  Is it camaraderie amongst people again?  Probably...  What else is it?  I still don't know.

I'm amazed by the outpouring of people close to me and not close that have displayed incredulousness at my desire to be working in a butcher shop.  I'm flabbergasted that they even ask the question, but then again, it makes me question myself.  Why am I really doing this?  I'm SO EXCITED that I can hardly contain myself, but I also wonder what I've gotten myself into.  Is part of it that I'm infiltrating a man's world?  Women haven't been my friends for the most part, men are easier to get along with, is that it?  They're certainly easier....but I think I'm straying from the base of this particular post.  That is...why am I doing this?  I never thought in a million years I'd be here...for goodness sake, 10 years ago, I wouldn't touch a raw quicken.  Now the only question in my mind is whether I'll eat blood sausage without a blindfold on.